On September 1, 2019, Selling Sunset star Amanza Smith allegedly received an email from her ex-husband Ralph Brown: “My situation isn’t good right now. I can’t financially take care of the children. It’s not safe for them to be with me. You need to keep them until my situation changes.”
The former NFL player had been gone for a week and was last seen dropping their kids off at school. In the next days, Smith shared that at least 20 of his ex-teammates reached out to her asking if she had heard from him and knew what was happening. Even his best friend of 20 years was kept by Brown in the dark.
Smith filed a missing persons report in November 2019. He addressed her through a court declaration shortly after, saying that Smith filed the report knowing that he wasn’t in a good situation but knowing that he wasn’t missing. Until now, he is still in the wind.
Okay, let’s take a step back. What happened?
Selling Sunset's Amanza Smith posts a crying selfie as her ex Ralph Brown remains missing – Daily Mail https://t.co/1mVj5K4wHn pic.twitter.com/nTS3kFJxut
— URBANTIAN™ (@URBANTIAN) March 17, 2021
Real estate agent and Selling Sunset star Amanza Smith tied the knot with ex-NFL player Ralph Brown in 2010, but their marriage didn’t last long. According to Smith, they divorced when their kids (Noah and Braker) were 1 and 2 and had co-parented since, with the kids having a week with her and another with their dad.
There was no custody battle between them; she wanted 50/50 custody because she didn’t want her kids to miss out on having a father – a great, present, and involved dad at that. Additionally, because of their set-up, she could get extra work and enjoy her own time and company.
However, it seemed like the two weren’t exactly on the same page.
He Said
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According to a court declaration obtained by Us Weekly in November 2019, Brown claimed he had been through multiple physical and mental breakdowns after his NFL career ended. Smith had witnessed all of the pain and anguish that he experienced during this time.
Things were incredibly difficult for him when he filed for divorce in 2012 since his kids were so young. At that time, he couldn’t walk or stand for too long because his knees or lower back would start to hurt. The extensive pain had also been so overwhelming that he would not want to get out of bed or do anything at all.
“I’ve struggled with depression for many years after my retirement due to this continuous pain,” he said. In his paperwork, Brown made a detailed list of his health issues accumulated from the bodily damage and concussions he experienced during his career.
According to the ex-NFL player, it didn’t help him at all that Smith would constantly text him during his week with the kids. The stress of what Brown called the ‘inability to leave him alone’ sometimes led to multiple breakdowns. He also said that in the past, there were times that Smith had made him feel suffocated.
Sadly, that just wasn’t it. Aside from the physical and mental health issues that Brown faced, he also struggled financially.
There was a time when he had to borrow money from family and friends to provide for and support his kids. It got to a point where he didn’t even mind not having money or food for himself.
Amid his debt, he was forced out of his apartment in March 2019, which caused stress to the kids. He found a temporary home but only lived there for six months. Eventually, he ended up sleeping in his car.
The former athlete said he had gone through a lot and was worn out but continued trying to be a good father.
Then in 2019, he officially went MIA. The incident happened two weeks into the star filming the second season of the Netflix show. He was last spotted on August 26, when he brought their two kids to school in Los Angeles.
Brown said that after his disappearance, Smith had been harassing his family, asking about his whereabouts. There were also an alleged few choice words that she threw against them.
She Said
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In response to Brown’s court statement, Smith said that the fact remained that he abandoned his two children without a word. Smith added that she did everything she could to find him for the sake of their children.
She noted, “I contacted every member of his family by any means possible. At first, I was very nice and polite but as the months went by, I did get upset and angry that he had left his children with no explanation and no idea as to his whereabouts.”
Then it came to the point that she would get blocked whenever she tried to reach out to anyone. It was definitely difficult for her kids, who she said were close to his side of the family. “I’ve had to pick up the pieces and mend little broken hearts.”
When she received his email in September, she did what he asked her with the expectation that he would change his mind. She kept her faith in him, and he must be going through something so serious that he had no choice but to leave.
As for Brown’s claims of losing money, Smith shared on the Not So Skinny But Not Fat podcast that the athlete paid for child support for about a year and a half after they divorced. Then he stopped allegedly because he ‘blew through his money,’ just shortly after his retirement.
What she felt was ridiculous was that he claimed she caused him anxiety by trying to find out where he was and if he ever intended to see his children again. It was shocking for her to hear how he painted himself a victim when he had two children who had to face a life without a father.
Smith was also upset that he said these things, but she desperately tried to find him when he disappeared.
Where Was Ralph Brown?
Is Selling Sunset star Amanza Smith's ex-husband former NFL player Ralph Brown still missing? #SellingSunset #ralphbrown https://t.co/5SaSIfmt97 pic.twitter.com/gbQRQCeaS4
— Daily Express (@Daily_Express) November 2, 2020
After filing her report, Smith was redirected to an investigator who told her that after reviewing his case deemed that Brown was not a missing person.
First, there was an email sent to her. Second, there was no sign of any foul play. However, before Brown went MIA, Smith alleged that he had been seeing someone.
Smith found her Instagram, but she was already blocked, so she used another account to check it. Smith didn’t send a DM, but she commented in one of her latest posts asking where her ex was.
In February 2021, Smith talked about Brown’s disappearance with Us Weekly. She expressed how she needed answers – Where was he? Was he mentally unstable? Was he on drugs? Had he died, they would know about it and mourn it. However, abandonment was open-ended. They were just there waiting.
Smith said that despite everything that transpired between them, she wouldn’t react angrily if he showed up at his doorstep. She’d just probably freeze in shock or break down sobbing.
In August 2022, Smith shared that her missing ex-husband was still off the grid. No emails, no phone calls. His family hadn’t contacted her, and she also ceased communicating with them.
She clarified that it wasn’t like she was closing the chapter because it would never be until they heard from him. But they had to accept their new reality and move forward.
Amanza Smith won her sole custody battle against her ex-husband Ralph Brown in September 2021. As for Brown, her statement implies she has a pretty good idea of where he is.
